Longing for "The One"

In life, you have traveled a long hard path.  Living here, is like living in a psychic battle field.  Your Journey here has been one of seeking your identity, your place in life, and the search to find someone who would really love and accept you, just as you are.  This deep longing for love, and to be loved, is as ancient as the land around you.  No Soul seeks to live life alone, unless they are dealing with great emtotional pain.  To seek love, is as natural as eating, or sleeping.  To desire ones perfect mate, is the dream of all.

When you entered into this life, you came with an open heart.  The Child always loves, and you were the loving child, when you were small.  This ability to love, is part of your nature, and part of your identity.  In the family home, many traumas can occur that change the child's view of being open and loving.  The view of the self is altered, damaged, and scared by the views of those around you.  Even your own view of love changes, to be fearful, painful, and tragically, when you searched for love as an adult, you took these old damaged views of love with you.

Because of the damage from childhood, you may have attracted wrong people to you in your early adult years.  You might have even married someone who was very much like one or both of your parents.  You might have been beat up in your adult relationships, yet you continued, never leaving your dream of finding true love far behind.

As you got older, you also became more careful and wise.  Eventually, you came to the realization that love really did equal pain, and entrenched the old childhood fears even deeper.  At this point some of you stayed the same, and some moved ahead, seeking more answers to the dilemma of love.  Those that moved ahead might have started to read self help books, learned meditation, or got involved with counseling.  You knew that you were attracting wrong partners, because there was something inside, like a bad relationship magnet, that kept causing you to attract wrong people.

Your true love journey continued.

The ancient art of finding and attracting true love, was always within you.  Deep in your heart, in your child's heart, was the huge ability to give and to receive love.  It was a little heart, and like a small tin cup, the heart within had a few dings in it.  But, it was still there. It is still there now.  In learning to know and love yourself again, you have within you some special truths about love.  The first thing that you might have rediscovered about love, and about yourself, is that you really are afraid of the very thing that you would give almost anything to find.  Love is scary.  The second thing that you have within you, is that you still have the ability to love someone else, uncondtionally, just as you did when you were very small.

Question.  How can you attract love, when you are afraid of it?

In learning to love yourself more, you can also re-learn also how to love and accept others at a deep level.  In the ancient art of finding love, you must learn to love yourself.  Then, and only then, can you once again love others with an open heart.

In your life, if you give anger, fear, or bitterness, you will attract the same, ten fold.  If you give love, caring, and acceptance to others, it will also return to you, ten fold.  Like attracts like.  You can attract love, when you become more familiar with your own love of yourself.  When you like who you are, you are more willing to share that, and to be open with others.  The path of self love involves good care to your body, emotions, and mind.  It means creating a living space that is calm, clean, and positive.  It means finding friends, who support you and your dreams.  Self love means having fun, learning to like your appearance, and healthy choices in your diet.  Loving another, does rest on how you treat and care for yourself.  You don't have to be perfect.  You are good enough, just as you are.

To give what my partner needs, The 3 Golden Keys.

The 1st. Golden Key to relationships: "I am willing to give my partner what they need, not what I need to give them."  If your love partner likes blue, do not buy them a shirt that is yellow, because you like yellow.  Take their true desires into consideration, and give them what they need.

The 2nd. Golden Key to relationships: "I put my partner first, above all else."  If you are busy with work and leave your love partner to 'die on the vine', then they loose, and you will eventually be seeking someone else.  Abandonment is abandonment, regardless of the age of the person.  Most people already have abandonment issues that they deal with.
When you also abandon your mate, you create deep pain for them.  Like the sun, nurture your partner, and shine your love upon them.

The 3rd. Golden Key to relationships: "Give your partner the right of free will, freedom, and the right of choice."  If you treat your mate like a child, you will soon be their mother.  This then, is no longer an adult relationship, and it is not healthy for either partner.  If you feel a need to dominate your partner, you are coming from fear.  Deal with your childhood issues, and your feelings about your mate will change for the better.

Even before you find love, get to know the 3 Golden keys, and start to practice them in your daily life.  These keys should become second nature for you.  When they do, you will have a greater chance of attracting the true love that you seek.

The above 3 Golden Keys, might seem very simple.  But, if you wish to practice the Ancient Art of Attracting, (having and keeping) love, you will need to follow these golden threads of wisdom.  If you are reading this letter of love, you might already know what doesn't work for you.  Perhaps there were some small little truths within this article that will help you on your Journey - To Find True Love.

End.
Copyright 2005, all rights reserved - Whitneay T. Vanwells